What Dreams May Come

Yeah, that’s a title ripped off of a movie, but it sounds cool, so I’m using it.
For a long time now, people have told me that I needed to write down my dreams. I’m one of those people that on any given night, I’ll have at least two or three.

The night before last, I dreamt that there was a fence dividing good from evil. On the side of the fence where evil resided, there was a path. It was designed for those who wanted to test how pure in heart they were. If they could walk the length of the path without seeing the form of the black wolf, they were pure in heart and no harm would come to them. If however, they were not pure in heart, they would be devoured by the black wolf (who I thought was the devil) and forever trapped in this evil place.

I dreamt that my youngest brother Nicolas walked the path. He came to the end of the path, and counting his success too soon, had a moment of pride and suddenly the wolf appeared and devoured him. I was horrified and so terribly sad. I pleaded with God to send him back to us, but to no avail.

Not long after, one of my other brothers, Daniel, became frightened because he was being tormented by the evil that had enveloped Nicolas. He told me about it and I went to do spiritual battle. I prayed for what seemed like hours and nothing seemed to give. Finally, when I had almost given up, and thinking my heart was not pure enough to ask such things, God vanquished the evil. He sent Nicolas back to me.

Then, I saw several of my brothers (Philip, Daniel, Jason, Nicolas) at the age when I used to take care of them the most. I hugged each one of them and we exchanged words of love. Then, to my surprise, my brother Jeremy (who was about age 6 in my dream) was standing in front of me. I hugged him and held him very tightly. I knew what his future would hold for him and I knew that I would not see him for most of it. I held him and as I did, I saw him change into the man I last saw. At first he did not hug back because he thought the world hated him, but when he realized he was loved, he too hugged back and wept, knowing what he was worth.

Then I woke up.

The dream disturbed me because of the truth in it and because of the hope that it gives me. I’m no hero, and I can’t save them when they need saving, but I love them very deeply.

As a wise woman once told me, “Just remember, the God who took care of you all those years is the same God who takes care of them.” Oh that I might remain in this much faith.

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